March 25, 2023

Meghan Markle spoke about people branding her “lucky” for marrying her husband, Prince Harry. The Duchess of Sussex revealed on her podcast that it was a little insulting for people to tell her she was “so lucky” that Prince Harry “chose her” to be his wife. Markle spoke about it on her podcast “Archetypes” during a conversation with actor, producer, and director Mindy Kaling. The podcast episode titled “The Stigma of the Singleton” saw the pair discuss women being single publicly, relationships and family.

During the conversation, Meghan Markle asked Kaling what made her choose the title of her memoir — “Why Not Me?” Meghan Markle then opened up about how that phrase related to her personally and how people constantly questioned her worth as a partner for Prince Harry, branding it “luck.”

“When I started dating my husband, we became engaged and everyone was just like, ‘Oh my God, you’re so lucky he chose you,'” she said, before adding she overcame that thought. “At a certain point, after you hear it a million times over, you’re like, ‘Well, I chose him too.'” She then explained her husband’s reaction to such statements. “They’ve got it all wrong. I’m the lucky one ‘cause you chose me,'” he said. She then explained how gender stereotypes portray women as waiting for their husbands to choose them and validate their life and explained how problematic that is. “It’s, it is gendered and it’s archetyped and it’s stereotyped that…’you’re so lucky.’ And it just feeds into this idea that you’re waiting for someone to tell you that you’re good enough, as opposed to knowing that you’re good enough on your own,” she said.

Mindy Kaling reflected on her own acting career growth to sum up the title of her memoir. “Why can’t I go from No. 12 on the call list on ‘The Office’ to being No. 1 in my own show? Why not?” Kaling asked. “We get to live life one time. Right? And many people have overcome odds bigger than that. So, like, why not at least try?” she continued. She was the driving force behind “The Mindy Project.” She also said the title had a second meaning, which she said was something “a little bit more vulnerable to talk about.” She explained that a lot of our validation comes from our relationships as well and this question is about not being with the right partner. “Like, why am I not the person that got married?” she asked, before continuing, “I’m still examining it. It makes me emotional.”

Kaling also spoke up about the stigma attached to being a single mother. “When you’re a certain age and you’re a single woman, if you go to a party, it bums people out,” said Kaling, Sydney Morning Herald. “And they want to set me up with some loser they know. And I’m like, I’m okay. I’m a rich, successful woman with great clothes and a nice family.” She also touched upon her relationships and the pressure of marriage and having children. “I would be in these relationships and in the cold light of day when I looked at them was like, ‘would this be a person who I could share a life with?’ And the answer would be ‘no’,” she said, reflecting on her dating life in her 20s. “I knew on some level that’s not what you sort of build a life, a family on,” she continues, acknowledging the immense pressure women are under to marry and have children after a certain age,” she said. “You probably know the friends… the desperation in your friends when they’re in their late thirties and they’re like, ‘I don’t know, I don’t know.’ And they’re just like, ‘whoever I’m with, I just, that’s the person I want to marry.’ And I didn’t want to do that.”

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